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No one in the world should make you feel safer than yourpartner.
Now, shes reaching out for advice online and asking others what to do about her spouses behavior.
So to learn more about this situation, we got in touch withDr.
Sometimes people act badly.
They act very badly.
This is the difference between an abuser and a stressed out husband.
But in real life, of course, it never stopped.
There is often deep resentment in men like the husband she is describing.
He wanted her to not be tired.
To not need help.
His resentment and anger towards her speaks to the extent to which he is an utterly lost soul.
You cant separate the welfare of a baby from the welfare of its mother.
So when you threaten one, you threaten both.
It is just a human compassionate response.
And her reaction to her helper also speaks to internalized shame.
This hostility is something that the babys nervous system also lives with.
And so will he, Dr. McMahon noted.
This woman needs at least this community of adults invested in her family.
Unfortunately, the therapist says men like this often impregnate their wives to tie them down.
They often urge them to quit their jobs to become financially dependent, Dr. McMahon shared.
It typically starts so early in the relationship that it becomes utterly normal in its abnormality.
Resentment kills us, only slowly, she continued.
If this woman is afraid, Dr. McMahon says she needs a plan.
This fear isnt present in a regrettable incident, even a violent one between couples.
But couples who have had violence also experience shame and regret at their behavior, the expert pointed out.
We call that situational violence and, fortunately, it is80% of the IPVout there.
The other 20% is the toxic kind, and 45% of these arent physically violent.
Her baby needs them.
These relationships are very similar.
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