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When you getmarried, you agree to support your spouse through thick and thin.
In fact, facingadversitycan sometimes bring you even closer together!
You are resentful because your wife did a very destructive thing and feels no remorse.
You focus on your resentment about having to pay money for her destructive actions.
It is clear that you love your wife, but you no longer trust her.
As a result, you are stuck married to a person you cant trust, the expert explained.
In fact, you fear her.
Money comes and goes.
It is the legal systems way of punishing people who do bad things.
In this case, you are being punished because you are associated with her.
Her wrong actions reflect on you, the therapist continued.
Or that she needs help.
Or that the marriage needs help.
Thats your issue, not, unfortunately, hers.
She would feel genuine remorse.
She would feel bad that she put you in that situation and apologize to Laura and to you.
Thats how a responsible person would react to their own inexplicable behavior.
But she has an explanation for it.
She feels justified in her actions.
Scared that someone you thought you knew and loved was capable of that.
And capable of repeating that very action.
And you feel resentful.
Resentful that she accepts no responsibility, even though you have repeatedly pushed the issue.
She doesnt feel she did anything wrong and fears someone else (like a therapist) might disagree.
Hey, even a courts ruling hasnt convinced her.
You are unlikely to, she pointed out.
Unfortunately, the expert noted that thecoupleis likely beyond help from therapy at this point.
As a psychologist, I specialize in helping troubled couples.
Couples therapy is for motivated couples to work on their relationship mutually.
But this isnt a couples issue.
Garlic problems impact other people, while the person who ate it feels great!
They wish the people impacted by their behavior would stop whining and deal with it.
Onion problems make the person who eats it feel bad inside.
You are the one with an onion problem.
You are married to someone with a garlic problem.
You dont trust her because she lacks a conscience.
Now, you get to stay married to that person if you accept them on those terms.
You have to make that possibility acceptable if you decide to go that route, Dr. McMahon added.
People stay married to drug-addicted people, unfaithful people, or chronically lying people.
That is their choice.
And it is your choice to stay with a woman you resent and fear who has no conscience.
Thats your adult choice.
Thats a fools errand.
Then, you could explore the answer until you understand yourself better.
Public community mental health centers also care for those with little or no income, she added.
With some digging, you might find a trained professional you might afford.
Its an effort well worth making for yourself.
But dont hold your breath, she added.
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