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Have you ever noticed somethingstrangein your home that you just couldnt get to the bottom of?
Perhaps a bizarre smell started appearing in the kitchen, and you couldnt pinpoint the cause.
Or all of your plants began to wilt despite receiving just as much water as theyve always gotten.
One womanrecently reachedout to Reddit for advice after noticing mysterious green spots appearing around herhome.
Infidelity can come to light in ways that no one expects, the expert says.
So what are some behaviors that can give away the fact that someones having an affair?
Unusual tech habits, Shan says.
Sometimes, new habits like obsessively using incognito mode or clearing web app histories can also be red flags.
A cheating spouse might also change how they see their partner.
A partner engaged in an affair might start projecting their guilt onto you, Shan explained.
Overinvestment in personal growth can sometimes be a red flag as well.
You might also notice a change in sexual energy if your partner is cheating.
Both shifts can be equally telling.
One client of mine once confronted her husband because his shirt smelled like perfume she didnt wear.
My practice is full of couples successfully working through affairs who are doing exactly this.
However, not every relationship can or should survive infidelity, Shan noted.
And if someone suspects that their partner is cheating, how should they address it?
Heres the thing: waiting for solid proof often isnt the best strategy.
Your intuition is important, but its not always accurate.
Is it a lack of connection?
Use your feelings as a starting point, not as evidence, the expert recommends.
The key is to focus on the overall relationship dynamic, not just suspicious moments.
If youre going to address this behavior, Shan says to have the conversation early and directly.
Cheating isnt always about the intimate momentsits about desire, disconnection, and unmet needs.
Can we talk about it?
This approach creates space for honesty without turning the conversation into an interrogation.
And if you do suspect there might be an affair, be prepared for what comes next.
This conversation may confirm your fearsor it may not.
Either way, the real work begins with what happens next, Shan says.
A rupture, real or perceived, is always an invitation to create a more intentional, fulfilling relationship.
Finally, Shan added that the deeper question isnt simply, Are they cheating?
but rather, Whats happening to us?
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