But despite how much you love yourchildren, not everyone wants to hear about them.
Thats why one friend group agreed that when they meet up, talking about kids is off limits.
And this rule worked quite well, unless their infertile friend suddenly got pregnant.
When you first become amom, everything naturally revolves around your child.
Your conversations, your thoughts, and even your social interactions become centered on your kids, Pamela shared.
The no talking about children rule allowed [the moms] to rediscover themselves, the expert noted.
Its easy for women to lose touch with the person they were before they had kids.
You get the chance to share parts of yourselves that go beyond being moms.
Having this break helps reduce the stress and mental load of parenting, Pamela explained.
Being infertile is a painful and helpless experience.
Agreeing to make it a no talking about children zone shows how considerate and empathetic her friends are.
But Sue understands that its natural to be obsessed with ones offspring.
Im sure I would be if I had them.
Over the years, I have tried to talk about my nieces and nephews and other children I know.
I have offered stories about my dogs.
But they fall flat because its not the same, she added.
When it got to be too much, I just walked away.
There was a natural division in our lives.
Their lives were all about families, while mine was all about work, she noted.
They made new friends who were moms.
I made friends with men, older women, and childless/childfree women.
Now we have come together again, and our mothering status does not divide us.
However, theres nothing wrong with bringing up the issue if it really bothers you.
Can we change the subject for a while?
Or I just cant go to your baby shower.
Id be crying the whole time, and you dont want that.
But I will send a nice gift, she continued.
Dont bottle up your resentment and let it fester.
Not everyone can do that.
I can only do it now in my post-menopausal years, but it can work.
Pamela also noted that completely banning specific topics, like those related to children, feels extreme.
Friendships become enriching rather than limiting.
New experiences and life stages can create unexpected differences even within our closest circles.
These differences, however, maintain the value of our friendships.
They offer opportunities for growth, understanding, and deeper connection.
Sensitivity and understanding are essential in maintaining strong friendships through these transitions, Pamela shared.
Babies are pretty cool.
It sucks if we cant have them, Sue added.
But we can love our friends children like we love their cats and dogs.
And hell no, they wont give her a baby shower.
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