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Be that as it may, when it comes to taking care of the household, thegender gappersists.
How was the division accomplished?
And does the division result in feeling doable or create overload?
As for the second, she suggested paying attention to whether the division feels voluntary or forced.
One partner telling the other what to do is a recipe for tensions and resentments, she suggested.
Resentment invites withholding of affection and squelching of romantic feelings.
Let each partner choose what they are willing to take on.
While that might be the best-case scenario, its not always easy to come to a consensus between partners.
One solution is to begin by making a list together of what needs to be done, Heitler suggested.
Each partner then volunteers for what they are willing to sign up for from the list.
As for whats left, laugh, and then brainstorm together.
Have the kids do it?
The key is the laughing, she emphasized.
A friendly tone as you talk invites generosity.
A relaxed tone enhances creative thinking.
Affection beats adversarial talking every time.
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