Especially when kids push the buttons they didnt even know they had.
And before they realize it, they find themselves raising their voices.
Very often, parents yell when they were yelled at themselves as children.
It becomes ingrained as the go-to response to anger and frustration, she explained.
Such a parenting strategy is far from effective.
A loud voice rarely makes the message clearer and usually has the opposite of a desirable effect.
Thats why it might seem that children refuse to listen when parents raise their voices.
When kids are yelled at, they can also start to feel devalued and lose their self-worth.
All of this combined can result in increased pushback since children feel like theyre being overpowered.
Children that are yelled at oftentimes become parents who yell as well, addsBergeron.
Moms and dads are modeling how to parent.
Children witnessing the acceptability of a yelling response to anger internalize this reaction.
According to Bergeron, the first step towards being more zen and handling anger is to cope ahead.
When you pick up your children in the afternoon?
Before or during meals?
Then plan how you want to respond, she advises.
She further suggests thinking about behaving in a way that will feel good afterward.
Think about your child needing help in those moments instead of feeling aggravated and attacked.
Your child is having a hard time, not giving you a hard time.
Theyll be grateful and your job as a parent will be much easier!Bergeron reassured.
What can make this process easier is building stronger bonds and connections withkids.
Doing it outside aggravating situations is a great place to begin.
Changing generations of yelling behavior is hard but so worth it, saidBergeron.
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