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Being the oldest sibling has its perks and disadvantages.
Yes, youre the oldest and get to be the most independent.
That includesbabysitting, cooking, and helping your brother or sister with homework.
The parents inthis storythought that help would continue even after the eldest children moved out.
The girlfriend was very much against this idea.
But, because she wasnt sure whether she was being unreasonable, she decided to ask theInternets opinion.
Bored Pandasought the expertise of mental health consultant and author Imi Lo.
She also explained what repercussions parentification can have on children later in their lives.
The biggest problem is when it happens while the older sibling is still a teen.
Why is that a problem, you ask?
The parentified child can often feel like the responsibility is too much.
In some cases, the children can grow resentful of their younger sibling(s).
At the same time, they might develop feelings of guilt because of that resentment.
Parentified children also struggle to develop their own identity outside of the family.
These can include:
Lo says that sibling relationships can be a great source of love and support.
However, she emphasizes that the relationship should develop organically.
When parents impose certain roles, theres a risk the relationship wont be as fulfilling.
Their own needs end up being subordinated to those ofthe family, Lo says.
Conversely, parents and younger siblings may feel abandoned or unsupported if the grown sibling prioritizes their immediate family.
These perceptions can lead to resentment and conflict across relationships.
It can negatively impact the adult couples financial situation, too.
Financial support might be expected for younger siblings or aging parents in the family of origin, Lo admits.
At the end of the day, helping care for younger siblings shouldnt be an automatically assumed role.
Older siblings have a right to their own lives and identities, the mental health consultant explains.
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