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Being a stepparent is no easy task; it requires a lot oflove, effort, and patience.
Sometimes, though, the kid may still lash out, and that can be hurtful.
This obviously left her shaken, and, in anger, she stepped to the teens level.
She had been by the teens side for so long and couldnt believe shed say something like that.
She said that when the 15-year-old says, Gold digger with a uterus, those are not her words.
She is parroting something she has heard elsewhere.
In this case, they know its the mother.
These are not the kids words.
To get another perspective on this situation, we also reached out toNaja Hall.
She is a dynamic entrepreneur, creative visionary, and recognized subject matter expert.
That doesnt excuse her behavior, but it does help explain it.
Its a tragically common dynamic: the one who shows up gets the brunt of the anger.
Because their presence feels more secure, she explained.
Instead, she remained a consistent and caring adult figure in the teens life.
Thats why the comment hit her even harder.
What the child is actually telling you is that she is caught between two warring opinions.
Nobody stood up for the woman, not even herfiance, which made her feel angry and alone.
Thats probably why she felt the need to confront the girl and put her in her place.
Naja Hallexplained that the stepmothers response: thats a clapback, no doubt.
Some may find it harsh, but I honestly think it was a firm and deserved check.
This was a young person delivering an intentional, deeply cutting insult in public.
That was a teachable momentdont stomp with the big dogs if youre not ready to run with them.
Alison OMahony shared that the person here who needs to step up is the fiance.
How about something like, Did I hear correctly what you just said?
I think we need to step outside right now and talk about this.
Then the daughter should be asked to apologize.
Instead of sticking up for his fiancee, the man got mad that she had made his daughter cry.
He didnt discipline the girl or understand why his partner had felt so bad.
Alison commented: There are warning lights flashing here.
Many stepparents who are in this situation write to me and dont know what to do.
Maybe she is lucky she is still only a fiance?
Perhaps she should consider her relationship seriously, she added.
Its clear that the woman had worked hard to build a bond with her partners daughter.
Hopefully, her fiance eventually backed her up and made sure her feelings were considered, too.
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