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Blending twofamiliestogether isnt always easy.
With time, patience and plenty of love, stepparents andstepchildrencan form incredibly strong bonds.
But only if both are willing to try.
My husband (39) and I have been married for 5 years.
We have two children of our own, both girls, aged 5 and 2.
Weve been on family vacations all together lots of times.
I want stepson to stay with his mom while we go on vacation.
My husband sees my point of view and is okay with it.
I dont think Im being at all unreasonable.
Its not like I hate stepson or something, hes a nice kid, hes just not mine.
Am I the AH?
After a couple hours of replies, I decided to show this to my husband.
We sat down and had a really long talk about it.
I dont want to be a bad person, I just never thought of stepchildren being yours.
But I realize my mindset needs to change.
So Im going to start working on that.
It wasnt easy to hear everything you said, but I understand that I needed to hear it.
I booked a therapy appointment the following week and started working through my issues.
My own father died when I was less than a year old.
I dont even remember him.
It hurt me in a way Id never processed before.
I loved him, hed been my dad, and suddenly he was just gone.
That taught me that step-relatives werent part of your family.
I always thought I was doing better than my ex-stepdad.
A little while after I started therapy, we started family therapy too.
I accept now that hell always be my son, that unlike my ex-stepdad, hes forever.
Even if something happens between me and his dad, hell still be my son.
It made me so happy.
I told him that I loved him and he said he loved me too.
Since then, he always just calls me mom.
We both know we still have to keep working at this.
Im still in therapy and were still having family therapy.
But Im grateful to work at it.
Im grateful to have all my children.
It makes me cry every time I think about it.
But I want to thank you, Reddit.
I feel like for the first time, were truly a family.
And 63% of women in the U.S. who have remarried found themselves with stepchildren.
But despite how common second marriages andblended familiesare, they can still create incredibly complicated dynamics.
It can take a long time for families to adjust to their new living arrangements and relationships.
And, of course, it can be difficult for the parents to treat their biological and stepchildren equally.
TheCenter for Family Unitynotes on their site that theres often a risk of favoritism in blended families.
But that doesnt mean that you have to interact with every child in the exact same way.
They explain that a childs personality will dictate what the best method for parenting them will be.
And you cant do that without knowing them well and understanding them, something stepparents must strive to do.
Its also smart to give the child some space.
And one great way to do this is to show interest in things they love.
Ask about their hobbies, take them bowling or listen to the music they make.
Show that you care about what they care about.
HelpGuidealso recommends using routines and rituals to bond with stepchildren.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below, pandas.
Do you think the mother responded well to the feedback she received online?
Feel free to weigh in, and then you might check out another Bored Panda article discussingstepparenting drama!
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