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A parentsrelationshipwith their child is primarily based on selflessness, or at least it should be.
When people choose to have a kid, they should be ready to put their needs before their own.
The expert notes that the communication this family currently has is definitely not working.
The parents seem to be still parenting as though they have complete control over their adult child.
The warning signs are there, says Jennifer Fink, elderly care podcastFading Memorieshost.
They want to take over his home indefinitely and think they should be in charge.
If they plan to marry and have kids, how will that work?
I do like the idea of paying them back.
The original poster will have to decide what is more important.
A close relationship with their parents, or 1% independence.
It doesnt look like theyre giving them alternatives.
Theyve destroyed their relationship with them over money.
This is the adult childs private territory; its their place of refuge.
Giving up that privacy and/or that refuge is a BIG deal and needs to be a very well-thought-out decision.
Lots of communication, lots of hard questions to answer.
Fink also urges to look at this through the aging parents perspective.
They are still the parents, thats a role that doesnt go away.
Theyre used to being independent and in charge of their own lives.
Losing some or a lot of that independence or control is very difficult.
In addition, she encourages evaluating the overall child and parent relationship before making a permanent decision.
Lastly, Loverde concludes by saying, Be realistic.
Living with your parents may not work out well in the long run.
Have honest discussions upfront that include everyone who is affected by this living arrangement.
There will be a major shift in lifestyle as well as in the family structure.
Talk about all of the ways this living arrangement can backfire.
Have this conversation with your family as well as your parents before you ask them to move in.
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