This kind of bond might seem simple in theory, but it requires lots of mutual effort and care.
In this case, especially, a mom felt it was okay toabandonher child to pursue her new relationship.
When she later tried to mend their bond, she realized the extent of the damage she had inflicted.
Her decision not to pursuecustodyor exercise her visitation rights must have also been painful.
So, when she eventually came back into the OPs life, it was an incredibly awkward experience.
These kinds of experiences might be tough on kids.
To understand more,Bored Pandareached out toVassia Sarantopoulou, the head psychologist, founder, and director ofAntiLoneliness.
Its as if theres an invisible void inside, a lingering echo of past neglect that fuels current feelings.
Vassia explained that kids need to have healthy processing without pressure.
She also said: Your anger isnt just noise, it carries important messages about past hurts.
Dont feel pressured to get over it quickly.
Instead, give yourself permission to feel and express theseemotions.
Consider journaling as a personal conversation with your inner self.
Its like clearing the clutter off a messy desk, allowing you to see whats really underneath.
Telling the OP to stop reading toxic romance novels was a massive boundary overstep on her part.
It takes time, consistency, and a whole lot of compassion.
According toBowlbys Attachment Theory, early relationships shape our expectations for safety and love.
When those core emotional needssecurity, validation, and belongingare neglected, its like the rope has been frayed.
Thats whyVassia Sarsaid: Allow your child the time to decide whether theyre ready to lean in.
Their hesitance isnt rejection, its a shield built over years.
Regular check-ins or shared activities can help mend those fragile bonds.
Start with non-threatening encounters that allow your child to express themselves without pressure.
This gradual approach helps rebuild their sense of safety, she said.
The mom was obviously shocked and hurt at being confronted about her abandonment.
She probably expected her child to get over it or not bring it up in such a way.
Rather than acknowledging the situation, she immediately became defensive.
Vassia explained that its important for parents to accept responsibility for past mistakes without shifting blame.
Its not easy to rebuild a fracturedrelationship, especially one like the bond between a parent and child.
If she just lets her teen read toxic romance novels, maybe all will be fine with the world.
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