The key question, which by the way, hasnt been addressed in the original post, is WHY?
Why does the posters wife feel the need to track her husbands every step?
Did he give her any reasons tomistrusthim?
Is she a deeply insecure person who needs constant reassurance by simply seeing hes not doing anything untoward?
Dr. Baucom says a reasonable amount of access is what spouses agree to.
This is about trust, both ways, he noted.
A spouse trusting that someone is not doing anything to threaten the marriage.
And a spouse trusting that their privacy is respected.
The core issue sounds like, in this case, the balance of control, the therapist says.
And that points to an issue of undeserved mistrust.
Allowing privacy certainly can facilitate trust, Dr. Baucom says.
Remember, trust in this situation, is a two-way street.
Trusting someone to be maintaining boundaries with others.
And trusting someone to maintain boundaries within the marriage.
Its better to disclose information and feelings gradually, Mila added.
Think of it as peeling onions: one layer at a time.
Also, women tend to share more than men do we even have different communication styles, she continued.
Mila noted that trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship.
Take initiative and reveal something personal.
There is a core question about why there is a mistrust here.
What agreements and understandings need to be reestablished?
And what balance in the level of comfort can they establish?
Without knowing why this is happening, theyre going to struggle to get past this challenge.
Only then can you address the real issue together and find a compromise which is workable for both parties.
Which means, a conversation should have been had, he explained.
Check out the results: