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Ah, marriagethe institution where you sign up for love, loyalty, and joint tax returns.
Some folks want all the perks of a marriage but none of the paperwork.
But heres the thingyou cant always cherry-pick the benefits without doing the work.
Thats the message one Redditor was getting from her boyfriend.
Theyre solid, theyve talked about kids, but they arent married.
Not because theyre unsure about each other.
No, noits because the dude declares that marriage is a scam for men.
Yup, that old chestnut.
No ring, no vows, no paperworkbut he wants that generational legacy.
Make it make sense.
Our couple had a little oopsie moment and found out they were expecting a baby.
While they werent exactly trying for ababy, they werent against it either.
But when the baby name convo came up, thats when things got heated.
This guy wants thekidto take his last name, but the OP isnt having it.
In her mind, its a clear no ring, no name situation.
Well, well, whos manipulative now?
Can we get this woman a crown, yo?
So, whos right here?
Is this name game a form of emotional ransom, or is she just playing fair in therelationshiprulebook?
But why are some folks so afraid of commitment?
Well,gamophobia, aka the fear of commitment, is more common than you think.
Gamophobia isnt just a quirky fear of tuxedos and tiered cakesits a legit fear of commitment, particularly marriage.
These early life events can create long-lasting anxieties around getting close to others or risking emotional pain again.
Greer explained that it is possible, but it depends on the couples mutual understanding and alignment.
We wanted to know how people with this fear typically handle discussions about the future or commitment milestones.
Greer told us that those with commitment-related anxiety often avoid future-oriented conversations.
They tend to focus on the present moment, as thinking long-term can provoke feelings of anxiety or suffocation.
We asked Dr. Greer if it is possible for someone with gamophobia to overcome it.
She said, Yes, it is possible, but it takes willingness and self-awareness.
However, they should also be prepared for the possibility that their partner may not be ready to change.
Thats agender double standard.
If were tossing out the institution of marriage, shouldnt we also rethink who automatically gets the naming rights?
Equality cant be selective, buddy.
Luckily, after all the virtual advice and soul-searching, the OP and her boyfriend struck a deal.
Thats one elegant compromise.
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