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Honesty is the main building block of a good relationship.
Partners have to trust each other in order for it to work.
Unfortunately, its common for people to keepsecrets from loved ones.
In some cases, its an obstacle couples manage to work through.
In others, it can be a dealbreaker.
One guy hit a pretty big bump on the road of his relationship.
Just as he was planning to propose to his girlfriend, some startling new information came to light.
After the initial devastation, he went tor/relationshipsto ask for some advice.
Read on to see what the big twist was and what guidance the internet gave the poor guy.
Well, that depends.Marriage.comwrites that telling your partner about your past relationships or marriages can be beneficial.
The downside to having this conversation can be retroactive jealousy.
Its when a person is jealous of their partners past.
Retroactive jealousy tends to be unfounded, Hope Gillette writes forPsychCentral.
Some relationships might not survive retroactive jealousy.
But if couples commit to try and communicate honestly, it can work.
Sharing a difficult time in your past might be hard, especially if it was traumatic.
But keeping things secret might negatively affect the trust level in the relationship.
Its important to tell your partner things that might influence your future.
While sexual history in general can remain a private matter, your partner should know the more serious issues.
California State University psychology professorDr.
Kelly Campbellrecommends addressing the question on the first date.
However, it can be different when youre grieving, especially if its a child youve lost.
Managing your expectations can be important.
Everyone grieves differently, and people can react to the topic of death in different ways as well.
Before having that conversation, its completely acceptable to set some boundaries.
The partner may ask some questions that may be triggering not with malicious intent, but still.
Its okay to say, I dont want to talk about this or that.
If they refuse to drop it, thats possibly a very bright red flag.
From the perspective of the new partner how does one approach this issue?
So how should a partner act if their girlfriend or boyfriend is mourning the loss of a child?
Still Standing Magazinehas some tips for how to love someone whos grieving their child.
Grief is not short-lived, they write, so be prepared to practice patience.
Keep in mind that this will be a lifelong challenge and dont demand they get over it already.
Active listening is another suggestion.
Let your partner get their feelings and frustration out.
Dont interrupt and resist the urge to offer opinions.
Just truly listen and let your partner know youre here.
Also, dont be afraid to remember the one that passed away.
Give the gift of remembering its the greatest gift you might give.
Warning you might want to get your tissues ready
