To get an experts opinion on this,Bored Pandareached out to Tracy Schorn.
She is an award-winning blogger and cartoonist, also known as Chump Lady.
Shes theauthorof Leave a Cheater, Gain a LifeThe Chump Ladys Survival Guide.
She also has apodcastcalled Tell Me How Youre Mighty.
Her work has helped hundreds of thousands of people leave abusive relationships.
Tracy told us that there is no latter-day universal sisterhood.
The person who benefits from this association is the former mistress.
Its impression management for her.
It was never about you or the kid; it was about your exs [bad] character.
She wasnt special; she was just next, Tracy explained.
Her mom obviously had an ulterior motive because she had also been someones affair partner when she was younger.
I wouldnt waste it on a person who was once callous to my suffering.
The OPs ex-husband, though, does not seem to be like that at all.
His behavior seems to be that of aserial cheaterwho believes hes not doing anything bad or hurting anyone.
We askedTracy Schornabout her experience with these kinds of people and if they can ever change.
She said: Iwas once married to a serial cheater.
I run a blog with hundreds of thousands of stories of people whove left serial cheaters.
It doesnt fill you with stress.
It doesnt tug at yourconscience.
It doesnt hurt you to hurt your partner.
Cheating is about entitlement.
Its an abusive power dynamic.
To change is about humility, doing the hard cleanup work, and painful change.
Thats not appealing to a narcissistic person.
The OP understood that a leopard cant change its spots and that her ex would never stop having affairs.
Luckily, she moved on from him and saved herself and her child from alifetimeof pain.
Folks were glad that the woman stood her ground and that the other lady was getting her karma
