She never made the effort todriveherself and expected him to act like a chauffeur.
Eventually, he couldnt take it anymore.
She relied on him to transport her to and fro and never appreciated his effort.
To understand how to deal with such situations,Bored Pandareached out toHeather Thom(RPC).
She has been a breakup recovery counsellor and relationship coach for almost 15 years.
On herYouTube channel, she provides helpful advice and also makes interesting analysis videos.
Heather shared that suppressing resentment only gives it more power.
Get honest with yourself about whats underneath that feeling.
Hed sometimes have to drive her for an hour and back without even a word of thanks.
He did attempt to coax her to make an effort, but his words fell on deaf ears.
Use I statements, not blame.
Ive been feeling unappreciated and its been building up, can we talk about how to shift that?
She didnt once consider how tough that would be on him.
Heather explained that if youre constantly compromising your core values to meet your partners needs, thats not love.
The key is to shift from compromise to collaboration.
Collaboration means saying, Heres whats important to me.
Whats important to you?
Now, how do we build something that honors both of us?
Two people fully owning their needs and values and creating a life where both can coexist.
Although he felt bad about doing it, he also thought that giving in would keep enabling her.
An important point Heather Thom mentioned is that resentment is a quiet soul-crusher.
It doesnt scream, it simmers.
Breakups hurt, but staying stuck in chronic resentment?
Thats a deeper ache that doesnt go away.
You deserve a love that nourishes, not depletes.
Setting such a boundary might reduce his resentment toward her and force her to take on more responsibility.
Check out the results:
