Share
Giving birthis one of the scariest things a human can do.
So when one mans wife unexpectedly went intolaborearly while he was stuck at work, she was understandably upset.
But now, over a year later, shes still having a difficult time letting it go.
Lee Baucom, PhD.
It is great when both parents can have that experience together.
It is bonding at an important moment of transition in their family, Dr. Baucom shared.
My guess, though, in this situation, the real issue was fear.
A birth that is a month early can add fear to an already stressful event.
It would be natural to want a partner to be there.
Given the situation, though, from the husbands details, that was not possible…
Even though he wanted to be there, he explained.
It is usually unfair and almost always unhelpful to bring up unrelated issues during an argument.
That shifts the argument away from the issue at hand.
And when you do that, you rarely find any resolution, he noted.
It really is dirty fighting, Dr. Baucom says.
If there are lingering issues, they need to be resolved.
If you dont resolve them, then making them ammunition for future arguments guarantees damage to the relationship.
Given the circumstances, it seems that the situation is an unfortunate one.
She didnt do what she knew to do to contact him.
So, why is it a point of contention?
In other words, what problem is there that this is just a symptom of?
Whether intentional or not, the delivery situation has become a power tool.
The wife is using the situation as a way to get the upper-hand in arguments.
And yet, it is surely tied to pain for both of them, Dr. Baucom says.
According to the expert, the couple has a choice here.
Resolve this and put it to rest, or continue in a stuck pattern of arguing and hurt.
One will help them bond as a team.
The other will continue to undermine their connection and their relationship.
Resolve and bond, or stay stuck and hurt.
They have a choice.
Check out the results:
