For context, this was my first time meeting Andrew since they moved shortly after I joined the company.
Ill still go with them.
This wasnt meant maliciouslyits a dynamic weve always joked about.
John got irritable, saying he didnt want me staying with this crowd.
He refused to explain, so I brushed it off.
On the drive home, things exploded.
This history made John feel uncomfortable, especially with me joking about going out even if he didnt join.
We had a massive fight in the car.
I was completely blindsidedI had no idea about their history and was just trying to spend time with Andrea.
To me, Andrew was there by proxy as her fiance.
I feel like I didnt do anything wrong.
How was I supposed to know about this history?
Experts Advice
1.
Start by validating his feelings.Johns reaction isnt just about the presentits tied to unresolved emotions from his past.
Its really important for OP to let him know his feelings are valid.
Be clear about what you meant.A lot of misunderstandings happen when intentions arent explained.
OP should take the time to say, I just wanted to spend time with Andrea.
Andrew was part of the mix because theyre engaged, but my focus was on her.
Reassuring John that there was no prioritizing of Andrew can help rebuild trust.
Work together to set boundaries.Boundaries are key in situations like this.
OP and John could talk about what feels comfortable for both of them.
Maybe thats meeting Andrea without Andrew involved or having John present when Andrew is around.
The goal is to double-check John feels safe and respected.
Dig into the deeper issue.Johns anger isnt just about this hangoutits about unresolved resentment with Andrew.
Its not about forcing anything but giving him the tools to work through those old feelings.
Focus on strengthening your connection.Moments like this can actually be an opportunity to grow closer.
Its about turning this conflict into a chance to build a stronger partnership.
If you have a comparable experience or story youd like to tell, we welcome your submissions.
Clickhereto share your story withBored Panda.
Check out the results:
6Kviews
