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Nobody wants to find out that their partner has been having an affair.
Cheating involves so muchsecrecyand planning that it can lead to immense heartbreak when the cheater has been found out.
This crazy and unfortunate situation happened to one Redditor.
He just wanted todeep-cleanthe house while his wife was on a trip.
Instead, he opened Pandoras box and learned about her affair.
Dont play games and attempt to trick your partner into revealing it before you tell them you know.
Affairsare painful, and it can be traumatic for the person who got cheated on.
The other partner might worry about never being forgiven.
Either way, its hard to think straight, and both people may be in a state of turmoil.
Shes the author of Leave a Cheater, Gain a LifeThe Chump Ladys Survival Guide.
Her work has helped hundreds of thousands of people leave abusive relationships.
Its very hard to think of your relationship this way.
That this person is not your friend, or a person who has your best interests at heart.
But when you confront a cheater, theyre going to do everything to maintain that power.
Theyll gaslight (letters?
Gather your own support.
Talk to a lawyer.
you oughta know your options when you have property and children with someone.
Although he felt like forgiving her, another part of him could never trust her again.
You might feel out of control, confused, numb, furiousall the feelingsand that makes sense!
If possible, I would recommend prioritizing individualtherapyfor yourself with a therapist who has worked with infidelity.
The fastest way to heal is to go no contact.
But that might come later, if youve got children or are economically vulnerable to this person.
Find a support community.
Tell a friend or family.
This is not your shame to wear.
Tracygave us a completely different perspective, stating, Im highly skeptical of reconciliation and advise against it.
Exactly the wrong skillset needed for reconciliation.
Yes, marriages endure after infidelity, but it doesnt make them good relationships.
I find the whole sales pitch of infidelity made our marriage stronger incredibly offensive.
Its like saying shooting off your kneecaps improved your tennis game.
