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The role of stepparents comes with a lot of uncertainty and challenges.
Stepparents can absolutely be supportive, involved, and loving…
But that doesnt mean they should be expected to carry the load without a choice.
Another thing thats really important to remember is that its okay for a stepparent to change their mind.
That doesnt make them flaky or selfish, it makes them human.
Flexibility is key in blended families.
Were all learning as we go.
Stepmothers face some of the same challenges as most mothers: we overfunction.
The expectations of women may not change when a woman steps into the role of stepparenting.
We are cast in the role of nurturers.
Of course, the big difference is that the children were nurturing are not our own.
As a result, many stepmothers begin feeling like nannies, explains stepparenting counselorSusan Haworth.
Its okayand healthyto speak up when the load feels unbalanced.
Start by scheduling time for an intentional, calm conversation with your partner.
Talk through what roles feel natural and what feels like too much.
Be clear about your capacity, especially when it comes to discipline or daily logistics.
Healthy boundaries are essential for long-term success.
When both partners are on the same pageopenly communicating and adjusting as neededthe family becomes more balanced and resilient.
Its so important to remember that youre allowed to have a life outside of parenting.
In fact, you NEED it.
Its all about finding a good balance, says Phillips.
The key to success is staying on the same page as a couple.
Some stepparents are involved in daily parenting, while others take more of a support role.
Some are like a bonus parent while others are more like a trusted adult or mentor.
None of these roles are less than.
The beauty is in finding what works for YOUR family, concludes Phillips.
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