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People say that thebond between twinsis special.
But wheres the line in this quest of having intertwined lives?
Does that mean the partners of the twins should tolerate their requests even when they dont feel comfortable?
Take a wedding, for example.
The bride and groom should make the decisions, not the grooms twin, right?
Bored Pandacontacted a twin expert, Dr. Joan A. Friedman.
Shes done extensive research about twins and is a well-respected expert in the field.
Read her insights below!
They grow up in a twin bubble, she tells us.
Dr. Friedman says that twins often attempt to avoid competition because that might negatively impact their relationship.
It is also common for twins to feel very possessive of one another.
Often, its because theyve been raised as a pair, as a couple, Dr. Friedman explains.
Dr. Friedman points out that wanting this kind of sameness is an attempt topreserve the twinshipand their connection.
Twins dont like to have differences because differences make them feel separate.
And if they feel separate, theyre not connected, theyre not twins.
The idea of differences can create conflict and problems that they dont want to deal with.
That way, things dont get out of hand in terms of their relationship, Dr. Friedman explains.
Its even stronger than the attachment between mother and child.
She likens the bond to being born married.
Klein claims that, in some cases, twins might over-identify with each other.
Klein writes that people shouldnt romanticize or idolize twins.
That only puts more pressure on both or one of them.
Its also normal for twins not to get along.
The people in the twins lives shouldnt lump them together as one entity.
As an identical twin herself, she refers to the instances when I becomes we.
When the twins are children, its we dont like peas.
Then, when they grow up, it turns intoour weddinginstead of my wedding.
This pop in of entanglement leads to surrender of will and codependence by one twin, Dean writes.
Twins sometimes are confused as to who they are in relationship to each other, Barbara Klein writes.
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