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Every relationship requires peopleto compromise.
When one person in the relationship isdifferently abled, their partner might need to compromise more.
But is that always fair?
One couple got intoan argumentover parking costs.
However, he didnt feel it was fair and refused.
At first, the woman backed down but later started doubting her reaction.
She weighed the reasons she thought his pitching in would be fair and decided to double-check with the Internet.
Yes, the boyfriend might not be willing to spend his money on a service he doesnt directly use.
Experts point out that communication in relationships is key, especially when one person in the couple has adisability.
The author ofCleaning Up Your Mental Mess,Dr.
Caroline Leaf,writesthat compromise is not a one-way street.
Everyone involved needs to venture to understand the other person and the reason they want something a certain way.
Research shows that when couples think of the disability as shared,relationships might be more successful.
Scientists call this dyadic coping.
However, achieving that we-ness is easier said than done.
Mary Sanders, LMFT, toldNext Avenuethat the healthy partner might feel guilt and shame.
Its very intimidating for them to share their fears, their grief and anger, she said.
They might think: Hes going through so much: I dont want to burden him with my feelings.
Bertschi explains that its the opposite.
Sharing doubts and fears can strengthen the relationship.
Not communicating your needs and wants, she says, undermines trust in the relationship.
Perhaps, in this case, the boyfriend should consider dyadic coping.
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